Lowest Point

Coming back from a gruelling international tennis tournament in Fiji, only to have my SAT’s and Year 12 exams in the same week…was tough. Feeling empty and emotionally drained, this was my lowest point.

When you get pushed over the edge and really hit the bottom, you realise that getting there was gradual and slow and somehow unnoticeable. For me, these feelings had been lurking around for over a year.

Over the last 6 years I was confronted by the big question: “Can you be the best at both, tennis and school?”

I believed I could…but it was only in Year 11 and 12 when it was really slapping me in the face.

I had seen it done before. Unbelievable athletes who were incredibly smart at the best US Colleges. I knew I could be in that category too, only if I pushed a little harder…

But why was I feeling so deflated? Why was I just going through the motions each day?

There were many times, arriving to school at recess, my Year Advisor would comment on how tired I looked… only for me to reply with “I pushed hard this morning!”

I realise now, that that wasn’t physical, that was mental, and he could see it on my face.

Even with so much support around me somehow I felt alone, trapped by my own expectations and constant desire to be better. At this time, I lost the joy of playing tennis and was facing burnout.

The last few years I have had some extremely impactful people guiding me: One being Mario Cabral, my coach who helped shape my mindset and attitude to life. The other was Ben Pyne at Tennis Australia (TA).

I remember calling Ben, someone who I didn’t train directly under at TA, but trusted. We sat and talked as he gave me advice on how to manage both school and tennis. He told me to think of it like seasons where you can focus on one for a brief time and then when that’s over go all-in on the other. He included me in one of his training sessions. One session a week turned into multiple. When travelling, he would watch my matches and provide feedback. He would support me with pre-match and post match training sessions. He looked out for me and continued to take me under his wing through the difficult time I was facing. But out of everything, he gave me hope…hope that I needed to get through the situation and bounce back.

Mentorship

As I reflect, it’s clear that I had a great mentor. Someone who picked me up and showed me the way when I couldn’t see it.

However, I don’t think you can just walk up to a random person and ask them to be your mentor. Mentor relationships are like friendships, they take time to develop.

They see something in you for some reason and care enough to help you out. Answering one phone call turns into two, which turns into a training session, which turns into multiple a week, consistently making time for you. It just started with a phone call.

Taking a break

As athletes, we can get stuck in the vicious cycle of training day in day out without any intent, going through the motions as each day passes. You can get lost in trying to keep up with the people around you, as someone might be having a great season, or another might’ve just won a tournament. That comparison fuels you to wanting to achieve what they have, embedding a desire to train harder…but that fuel doesn’t last very long. You soon find yourself back to square one, going through the motions.

In the same way that we let our muscles recover when physically exhausted, we can take a break when mentally and emotionally empty. Taking a break allows you to recharge. It allows you to be able to use the time to find motivation and determination again. To look within. To remember why you enjoy what you do. The question is, are you playing the short term game of trying to be the best now, or the long term game of trying to outlast all the players and be the best at the end?

Asking For Help

From this experience, I learnt the value of picking up the phone and asking for help. We all know that if we don’t ask, we don’t get. But in the moment, why do we think that we can always figure it out ourselves? The pandemic has isolated us from our ability to connect with the people around us. It has made it easy to go one day, two days, a week, a month without talking to people you used to see every day. I know I fall into this trap often.

So if you feel alone, pick up the phone and speak to someone. If you’re struggling, pick up the phone and ask for help.

Together is better.